I don't remember what normal feels like

It's a weird thing to be jealous of people who wake up feeling fine. And when you have a chronic illness, it feels like that's everyone but you.

People with chronic illness are forced to accept their circumstances as "the new 'normal'" when their symptoms, which often come and go, no longer go away as their disease progresses. So nowadays, for me, it's normal to be sitting down and feeling like I might fall over. It's normal to see a blurry spot or flashy light along edges of everything I look at.

So when I go to a doctor and he asks how things are, it's no longer "I'm dizzy" or "I see weird things." He knows that already and can't fix it. So now the answer is just "Fine." If it's not worse and it's not new, it's now "normal."

I can't help him and he can't help me.

That's chronic illness; it's not about cures, it's about coping and getting used to the new "normal." I started this blog after reading some inspiring ladies who keep up their own blogs on the subject of being chronically ill. There's much comfort in knowing you're part of a group, even if the group is "disadvantaged." I owe a lot to Jenni Prokopy of ChronicBabe for making me aware that these MS mavens, diabetes divas, lupus ladies and cancer chicks exist and are talking about disease and life in real ways.

There's no beating around the bush here. Chronic illness sucks. But I hope to give myself some much-needed therapy by writing things out and taking part in this community I only recently learned existed. And if I can help a sick chick somewhere to feel better about things, or if I can help the TABs (temporarily able-bodied people) to understand what people with chronic illness go through, all the better!