Seeking Dr. Right

Sick Momma asked what you like and don't like in a doctor in this week's Blog Carnival. I can't ever seem to catch submission dates ahead of time, but I'll answer some Blog Carnival questions here anyway because they're always good ones.

My perfect doctor would have the following qualities (among others):

* Is not afraid to recommend homeopathic, natural, or supplemental treatments
My neurologist recently recommended trying alpha lipoic acid and vitamin B2 in response to a weird head feeling I get that I can only refer to as dizziness (although I no longer think that word defines it correctly). Despite the fact that the alpha lipoic acid and B vitamin don't seem to be helping, I was thrilled to try something that was "just" an antioxidant and vitamin. Over-the-counter drugs don't cause as much guilt when you miss one, don't usually interfere much with the other drugs you're taking, and don't require going through insurance.

I would love it if my doctors thought I could benefit from acupuncture or tai chi or something.

* Leaves the ego behind
Dude, I don't care if you can't cure my non-curable illness. It's not a conquest. I just feel like crap and I need your help managing my symptoms. Don't get mad at me if your "solution" doesn't help.

* Leaves the med student behind (at least sometimes)
I know the only way to learn is by doing. I understand that. But man, there is NOTHING WORSE than being looked at like a broken specimen by a group of strangers. Maybe my illness is new and exciting to you, but it's my life you're scrutinizing with your young beady eyes. When I was sitting there receiving my diagnosis and a team of students piled in behind the doctor looking detached, I could not have felt like more of an alien. Aside from learning that life was going to be a progressively more terrible experience, I also learned that I was even less like those med students than I ever had been—I was now to be only examined and pitied. They knew more about my condition than I did; what a way to make people feel inferior.

* Can just take the time to listen
If I'm not seeing a psychologist, maybe I shouldn't expect to be truly listened to. But I ditched my last GP group because the final doctor I saw wouldn't allow me to ask any questions until the very end because he is a "linear thinker" and can't have his thoughts interrupted. Really? I can't ask anything on my mind until the end of your 10-minute diatribe? Then you'd better get me a notebook and a pen because I can't remember ANYTHING after about 30 seconds in. You should see me in the car on the way home from the grocery store when I remember I didn't grab the ONE THING I went in for (yet I still managed to spend $17 on other things I didn't know I needed).

My new GP won my business because she is close to my home and because when I came in for the first time with symptoms to an unknown illness and a medical history a mile long, she listened and expressed empathy. Not sympathy, but empathy. Not "you poor thing" but "I see how you could feel that way." And even though she hasn't fixed anything and seems to be quick to prescribe (seriously, who gives an open-ended script for Xanax these days?), I know that once I get past her beast of an office staffer, I'm in a place where I will be listened to and not told to keep my mouth shut about what's going on until she's said her piece.

Sometimes it's not about the care given (fixes, drugs, opinions) but the willingness to believe that you know your own body and, therefore, the willingness to help on YOUR terms.

Oh, and then there's my neuro. "So what's new?" "Not much, but my arms and legs are fatigued lately." "Great. I'll see you in 3 months." Thanks, doc. You really deserve that $150 office fee.

* Chills with the drugs
But more on the prescription tip, my goodness, I cannot imagine it's medically advisable to rely on drugs so much. The fired GPs were all about prescribing antibiotics "just in case" things were bacterial. Even if that supposed pink eye would clear up on its own regardless.

To the ENT who can't prove that my dizziness is an inner-ear thing because you can't really see in there and "it doesn't matter" what's causing it: The drug you prescribed isn't fixing it. Does it matter now?

Or to the ER doc who gave my husband a script for Percoset for his fractured knee even though his pain was only there when he stood on that leg: There are plenty of junkies who would kill for these pills. I'm sure you know the dangers of the availability of strong painkillers. Don't just hand them out if people don't need them.

*  Has appointments in real-people time
You're only there on Thursdays to see patients? Really? I know you're a specialist, but you can't find someone only slightly less special than you to see people in the 25 other days of the month? Or should I just schedule my next flareup now so I can get a coveted spot next March?

* Does not make me wait an hour in the waiting room
First GP ever fired? Left me hanging for 90 minutes. This is a tough call because I know you want to give patients as much time as needed, which I can appreciate in a way. But when I finally got into the exam room, you were talking to me about your recent trip to Japan to see the Mets. That is not worth waiting for. Schedule fewer people if you know you're going to spend 45 minutes bullshitting with each one.